Sunshine Boy

This is a good read. I pictured the sun while reading this.
Good job!

lovely read. really lovely.

Lovely. You express yourself perfectly, and I can't fault it. The flow is good. It might be interesting, as Adna said, to try extending it.

Jas

As niteowl said, short and sweet:) It's very effective, no useless fluff in there. I wonder if there's room to make it longer, though? Just a thought. Nothing wrong with it like it is:)

Good job, and keep writing! More poetry, dare I hope?

*adna*

WOW, that was really good!!
very short and effective.=]
i agree with niteowl-ont the fifth line the And doesn't need to be there.

=) x

I loved this. Short and sweet. One tiny critique: The first "And" doesn't need to be there. I would put a period on the line before it and make that line "You set, you sink, you darken." one sentence.

Great job and keep writing!

Pretty good.

Noted and applied. Thanks

Wow! I loved that!

The imagery was great, and I remain unsure what it symbolizes (which I am sure it does) but it is great, because it makes me think about it more.

Nice and short, got to the point, no faffy waste of spaces.

'And I see you no more'

I would put a period at the end of this. Flows better .

So, ye! Great!

Keep writing!

~Mark~

I like it. It has good flavor and flows well. May we see more poems from you in the future.